Can you pass the Big Law psych test?

Big Law is finally moving toward a better screening method for selecting new Cogs. Kudos to whoever started the trend of adding a battery of psychological screening tests to the usual mix of two-hour lunches and dinners stuffed between a series of 20-minute chit chat interviews. Was McKenna Long & Aldridge the first? How did it take so long?

I have not seen a sample test, and I doubt I could give the correct answers if asked. But I am jazzed about the whole idea -- probably because I am already employed and have a few sample questions of my own to add to the list.

I know a few psychological "traits" that seem to lend to success at Big Law -- plus a few we should try to keep out of our ranks. For my own self-preservation, I do not recommend making these tests retroactive and having current Big Law lawyers take them. I am confident there would be a high failure rate.

OK -- here we go. I have a couple of questions I think would help identify those with a few key traits that help one to survive and succeed at Big Law: risk aversion, a desperate need for validation of one's self-worth, and raw ambition.

Let's play ball!

Choose the answer that best describes you. Don't spend too much time thinking about the correct answer -- there isn't one (that's what we're supposed to say) -- just be honest and go with your gut reaction.

1. If you were a talented high school baseball player being scouted by colleges of all shapes and sizes for your great defensive skills as a shortstop and your consistent batting average, would you:

a) Choose to attend the Division I college with the most past NCAA College World Series championships and the best current roster of any team, even though you know this means you may need to sit on the bench for a couple of years and learn from their current MVP shortstop until he graduates or gets drafted;

b) Opt to attend a smaller college with a great academic reputation but a lesser known baseball program that is just starting to improve, where you would be guaranteed a starting position and the spotlight for being the best player they have ever seen, while also getting a top-rated education;

c) Skip college altogether and sign up for the Big Leagues. Going straight for the majors will lead to faster success, fame, cash and chicks. Even if you have to toil in the minors, surely it won't be long, so why waste time with college ball? Get paid and get going!

This one is layered with juicy helpful indicators of whether Big Law is for you.

If you chose option "a," then reputation matters to you. You want to be part of a well-known, winning team. You want to wear that college logo sweatshirt and have everyone know you are part of a great baseball tradition. You are willing to sit patiently on the pine while others take the spotlight because you want to learn from the best and would rather be part of a well-known winning effort than be the superstar at a smaller school. You have ambition and a need to validate your worth through success. By choosing a school with a winning tradition, you also indicate a healthy dose of risk aversion. This answer indicates you may be Big Law material!

Don't worry if you chose option "b" -- you may still be Big-Law-ready. This answer indicates that you are a cautious decision-maker. You know that the statistical chances of ever playing in the majors are slim to none. You are a realist and understand that you could break your arm in the first season and need to fall back on a top-notch education. You also show the ambition of wanting to stand out as a star. This could cut both ways at Big Law -- maybe you work hard to stand out, or maybe you get disappointed to be one of many talented Cogs? That's why the evaluation has hundreds of questions!

If you rolled the dice and chose option "c," you have the ambition and the baseless confidence that has helped many Cogs succeed. But you also are showing a high tolerance for risk and a willingness to go for broke. You will likely be disappointed with the slow and steady "minor-league" phases of Big Law that you must endure before making partner. You may find a better fit as a plaintiffs lawyer taking high-risk, high-dollar contingency fee cases.

Tell us about your childhood

2. Which of the following best describes your childhood?

a) Being driven to and from private school, violin lessons and lacrosse by your live-in nanny while your powerful-law-firm-partner dad traveled to Europe to close big deals and your mom spent her days managing her family's import-export business;

b) Walking to Burger King every afternoon after geometry class to work and save enough money to buy an old beat-up car to drive out of your little backwater Southern town to head off and obtain enough scholarship-funded higher learning to one day be able to afford a house with a pool and central air;

c) Waking up and doing yoga with your mom (an artist), dad (a math teacher who loves his job) and siblings, eating tofu omelets made from eggs from your family's urban chicken coop and volunteering as a family at the local soup kitchen on a typical Saturday afternoon.

Let's just cut to the chase with option "c." If this describes your childhood, and you have fond memories of parents who didn't make much money but loved their jobs and were "at one" with Mother Nature and prioritized community and family over material wealth, don't fight your destiny ... and don't look to Big Law.

If options "a" or "b" describe your upbringing, you could be Big Law material. Those from economic extremes tend to succeed at Big Law -- for different reasons. Wealthy blue bloods succeed because they have no choice. You can't grow up sitting behind home plate at Braves games and "summering" at Hilton Head and then pursue a career that would lead to you be the first member of your family to be unable to provide your children with the same level of comfort and privilege. Your inner drive to live up to your parents', grandparents' and great-grandparents' expectations will drive you to work long hours and strive for the corner office. Fortunately, your connections will help you generate business at Big Law and make this more attainable than for others with lesser upbringings.

Big Law Cogs who have pulled themselves up by their bootstraps are also gems. Working all weekend on a memo is a breeze compared to mining coal or cleaning the bathrooms at Burger King. They can roll with the punches and are pleased by the simple perks of their jobs at Big Law -- like the occasional free tickets to a Falcons game. Who cares that they can afford to buy their own these days? It is still cool to have paved roads and access to sushi.

Next week, we will explore a few ideas for actual psychological experiments for Cog-screening as well as a few ideas for screening for traits that won't work so well at Big Law.

Big Law will make Dr. Freud proud.

(Published by Lawjobs.com - February 24, 2011)